The main thrust of Samantha's article is for women to be involved and educated about the money and financial issues in the marriage.  Some of the other points she makes are summarized below. Here is a link to the entire article.

According to recent statistics, U.S. divorce rates have decreased in recent years after a peak in the 1970s, but still remain fairly high. In addition to being an emotional breakup, divorce can bring about serious financial issues that can have long-term consequences on the economic stability of a woman.

According to recent studies, a woman’s standard of living decreases at least 30 percent after divorce, which means getting a grip on finances both during and after divorce is crucial for surviving intact.

Don’t Bury Your Head in the Sand

All women—especially divorcées—need to overcome their aversion to money issues, educate themselves and set financial goals. Part of the reason why divorce hits women so hard financially is due to most of them being reliant on their husbands to take care of household financials while married and then becoming shell-shocked having to manage their own situation on their own.
Self-sufficiency is crucial, and these tips can help.

Study Your Finances

According to investment advisor Lisa Fox, women often have no idea what they have financially. She says that during an after a divorce, they should be aware of all investments and read each financial statement, investigating anything they are unsure of. Fox also suggests keeping track of finances by copying all important documents.

Knowing what you have puts you in a better position for negotiation during divorce.

Create a Budget

Draw up a post-divorce budget while in negotiations in order to provide yourself with a snapshot of the type of settlement you’ll need, keeping in mind that downsizing may be required for your lifestyle after divorce.

Money: Not Just a Man’s Issue

Because women tend to live longer, earn less money during their lifetimes, and not be prone to investing, they have different financial needs than men. This makes getting a handle on financial issues is important, and should be done so sooner than later.

Divorce is never easy, but through common sense and financial responsibility, making the transition can be made easier.

Suzan Hughes said that she was played a tape of a phone call Pellicano illegally intercepted between Hughes and Bill Gillespie, the husband of her sister. After hearing the tape, was convinced Gillespie was not on her side in the divorce battle.

Pellicano, 64, has been accused of running a criminal enterprise which has taken actions such as tapping phones and bribing police in order to gather dirt on celebrities such as Sylvester Stallone and Gary Shandling in order to aid his clients in gaining an advantage in legal and other disputes.
Pellicano and four co-defendants pled not guilty to various charges.

According to the prosecution, between September 1997 and March 1998, Pellicano listened to the telephone calls of Hughes.

During her testimony Suzan Hughes also said that during her divorce proceedings in the late 1990s, she had hired Pellicano in order to investigate Hughes and Darcy LaPier, his mistress at the time. LaPier, ex-wife of actor Jean-Claude Van Damme, later married Hughes.

In May of 2000, Hughes passed away due to an overdose of alcohol and anti-depressant medication. Last year, his estate filed a civil suit against Suzan Hughes, Pellicano, and others in connection with the wiretapping. That case is still pending.

On Friday, actor Keith Carradine also testified. Sandra Will Carradine, his former wife hired Pellicano in order to investigate him during a bitter court proceeding. She pled guilty to two perjury counts and is expected to be called as a witness for the prosecution next week.

Those of you facing divorce should be careful about illegally recording phone calls between your spouse and another party.  Talk to your divorce lawyer about when it is or is not legal to record phone calls.

In my years of divorce practice I have seen lots of lawyers handle divorce cases.  There are as many different styles as there are different lawyers.  But, I have also noticed three recurring styles of lawyer in particular.  I call them the lamb, the pit bull and the fox.

The lamb is the lawyer that just sort of goes with the flow.  They are reactive, not proactive.  They want to avoid confrontation at all costs and that means they also want to avoid going to court at all costs, even if it means convincing their clients to settle for significantly worse terms than they should.  The lamb may even be afraid to try the divorce case. He will rarely, if ever, tell his client that he should not sign a settlement offer that is being extended from the other side even if that offer is clearly inequitable.  Thankfully, there are not a lot of lambs that last very long as divorce lawyers.

Much more prevalent is the pit bull, who is exactly the opposite.  They hate to settle cases.  In fact, some of them won’t do anything proactive to try to settle their divorce cases.  It is almost as if they take some type of perverse joy in seeing the “blood running in the streets.”   The truth is that often they do this simply to develop and maintain a reputation as “Bad Leroy Brown…baddest man in the whole damn town.”  When a spouse is angry and in the emotional stage of wanting to exact revenge, they want to be the name on everyone’s lips when that aggrieved spouse asks their neighbor who is the meanest SOB in town.  And, so they work hard to maintain that reputation because it makes them a lot of money.  

The sad part is that acting like a pit bull is rarely, if ever, in their own client’s best interests.  Of course, the pit bull’s main concern is not their client. If you know anything about pit bulls, you will know that they are very aggressive and vicious. But, they are not thinking animals.  They act only on instinct.  When they fight, they not only destroy the dog they are fighting, but by their own actions hurt themselves and anything else around them (which often includes their own client’s and their client’s children).

The pit bull is aggressive for the sake of being aggressive, not for any long-term benefit it brings their client.  Often people going through divorce will think they need an aggressive lawyer to represent them in their divorce.  They are wrong.  What they need is a lawyer who is assertive.  There is a difference.  It is the difference between the pit bull and the fox.

The fox is wise and cunning.  He sees the big picture.  The fox is assertive when he needs to be, compromising when it benefits his clients’ long-term best interests, and always aware of the many different consequences his actions have on his clients.  He stands on principle. Yet, he is a strong advocate for his client when it promotes his client’s long-term best interests.  He recognizes that reaching a fair settlement is always preferable to trying the case and leaving it up to the judge.  Yet, he also knows that if a fair settlement is not forthcoming, then he must be willing and able to prepare to effectively litigate the case in court.

When choosing a divorce lawyer, you should avoid the lamb and the pit bull at all costs.  Instead, find yourself a fox.

Researchers at Penn State University recently conducted a study in which they looked at interviews of high school students before and after a period of five years. The responses of teenagers whose parents were married were compared to the responses of teenagers whose parents had separated during the five-year period.

In the initial interview, 71 percent said that they were close to their mothers and 57 percent said they were close to their fathers. After five years, 38 percent of the teenagers with parents that were still married reported being close to their fathers. However, among the teenagers with parents who split up, only 25 percent said they were close with their fathers.

The study, which was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, said that the closeness of teenagers to their mothers had no difference between ones whose parents were together and ones whose parents had divorced.

It was suggested by the authors that the difference was fathers being more likely to be separated physically from their children after a divorce, and they were often already not as close to the children while still married.

Here is the link to the story about the study. It is hard to tell how valid the results were. But, I can say from personal observations that I have frequently seen fathers and their children drift apart after divorce. This happens for a variety of reasons.

When you couple that with all of the sociological evidence that we have which recognize the importance of fathers in the lives of their children, the inevitable conclusion is that we must be doing all we can to make sure that fathers stay involved with their children post-divorce. The responsibility for that falls not only on the dads themselves, but also on the mothers, the Judges, and the lawyers involved in these custody cases. The stakes are simply too high not to do so.

Most people don't know that court decrees assigning payment responsibilities for joint loans are not honored by lenders. This incorrect assumption of being off the hook for financial obligations can result in payments being missed and your credit score being tarnished for years. However, you can limit your exposure to this type of risk this if your credit is safeguarded before filing for divorce.

If you and your spouse have joint accounts, you should do your best to change them to individual accounts so that splitting up your financial responsibilities will be easier. This may or may not require your spouse's cooperation. It will depend on how the debt is titled and on the requirements of the creditor. However, these steps can save years of credit woes in the future.

You should begin this process with your credit card accounts. Payments on credit card debt are the most often missed, as opposed to home and vehicle loans. Those loans are the second thing you should work on.

However, refinancing your mortgage and car loans will be more difficult, as banks or mortgage companies will likely require additional transaction costs to refinance the loan. Selling the car or house and splitting the money could be an easier method, which would guarantee a vengeful ex-spouse wouldn't damage your credit.

Opting out of receiving pre-screened offers for credit or insurance is also advisable, as a former spouse could be tempted to apply for a loan in your name in order to ruin your credit.

Of course, this information is not specific legal advice for your own situation. Rather, it is general information. Before taking any action, you should discuss these issues with your lawyer.

However, children too often become yet another thing parents who are already fighting disagree over. Too frequently, I have seen the parents put their children in the middle of their disputes.

When determining the custody of the minor children, the guiding factor should be what will promote the best interests and welfare of the children.

If the issue of custody and visitation is decided by a judge, the court has significant discretion. Parents creating their own agreement for the child's welfare would make sense. However, if parents cannot come to an agreement, it is a good idea to consider mediation. If there is still no success, a decision will have to be made in court. Parents should carefully consider that though a judge may have good intentions, he or she does not have any personal knowledge of the child and your family's situation. So, a court deciding the issue of custody should always be the last resort.

There are numerous factors in a court decision about child custody, including all the things that could effect the development of the physical, mental, emotional, moral, and spiritual faculties of the child. The court will also consider the caretaking abilities of each parent, as well as how the child bonds with each parent and other siblings and which parent has been the primary caregiver. However, in the end, the Judge is given very broad discretion in applying these custody factors.

Remember that when it comes to child custody, making an informed choice is a smart choice. And, both parents should do everything possible to make the entire process as easy on the children as possible. Remember that no matter how much pain your spouse has caused you, your children don't and shouldn't understand that. They love and want to be loved by both of you. For their best interests, as hard as it might be, don't let your ill feelings for your spouse be felt by the children. You'll be thankful later.

Though she is not a player, the 28-year-old California native has divorced her husband of six years due to his development of what she describes as a "crippling addiction" to the game.

She claimed that shortly after he would come home from work at 6:00 p.m., he would begin playing until 3:00 a.m. She said that he was even worse on the weekends, when he would play from the morning until the middle of the night.

“I ceased to exist in his life,” she said.

Jocelyn and her ex-husband Peter had been friends since age 13. However, nine months was all it took for the marriage to fall apart.

She said she purchased the game as a Christmas present for him in 2004, when it first came out. They had their first serious discussion about the direction of the marriage in May of 2005. She moved out of the house by September 2005.

She also said her ex-husband failed to perform his domestic duties as well. She says that he was no longer paying his bills, nor doing his part of the housework.

She doesn’t hesitate to say that the game was the main reason the divorce took place and is still emotional about the impact it had on the marriage. She was upset that her husband would ruin his life and his marriage for “a fantasy land.”

This story was originally told at Yahoo Games and can be found at this link.  Though it only includes one side of the story, if true, it is sad that a video game could cause the break up of a marriage.  It reminds me of the title of a good book, Amusing Ourselves to Death.  Or, in this case Amusing Ourselves to Divorce.

Often lawyers will use multiple methods of discovery in an effort to obtain complete information.  I have had clients ask me not to pursue discovery for fear of the costs that would be incurred.  This is often short sighted.  An example from a recent case I had is instructive.

I was representing a wife in a divorce case.  The husband had complete control of all of the finances and the wife was not even aware of all of the assets.  Through the discovery we sent to the husband he produced a spreadsheet that he claimed were the assets.  The wife was surprised at the amount of assets that were disclosed.  They were much more than she thought they had.  But, the husband showed what he claimed to be the fair market value and the loans owed on them.  In all, he showed a net equity of less than $500,000.  It was more than the wife suspected, but something told me it was less than it should be.  So, we subpoenaed his bank records. 

The bank produced documents to us that included the husband's loan application and the net worth statement that he provided to the bank.  And, you've probably guessed the punch line - the net worth statement he provided to the bank included assets that he had not disclosed on the financial statement he provided to us, and the values were higher.  In all, the difference was that he showed a net worth on the financial statement provided to the bank that was nearly $2.5 million dollars - increasing the marital estate for the divorce judge to divide by about $2 million!

My client now understands it was to her benefit to make sure we did a thorough job of discovery.  Obviously this example (though completely true) is not what usually happens - at least not to this degree.  But, the lesson is a good one - make sure that your lawyer does a thorough job of discovery.  And, make sure that you let him.

Here is a summary of their points:

1. Trying to keep the house no matter the costs.  Many couples scrambling to obtain a divorce settlement wish to keep the house at any cost. However, financial experts say that more attention should be given to who can afford to maintain the property, pay the mortgage, and manage the taxes. While it is possible to ask for spousal support to help make the mortgage payments, unexpected maintenance costs may pop up, and make home ownership more of a liability than a luxury.

2. Failing to get a clean financial break from your former spouse.  Clean separation of assets and debts is another difficult task, but one that Howard Dvorkin, the founder of Consolidated Credit Counseling Services says is absolutely necessary, or the consequences can be devastating. Although the task may seem insurmountable, “the alternative is much worse,” says Dvorkin. “Having a spouse drive up your debt when you’re not married anymore” can seriously affect one’s credit score.

3. Depending on your former spouse to comply with financial arrangements. This is also a huge mistake, according to the USA Today article. Although both parties in a divorce are beholden to a court-ordered divorce agreement, creditors do not fall under that arrangement. If your ex spouse is supposed to pay the mortgage, but doesn’t, “the lender is going to sue both of you,” remarks Melissa Avery, an Indianapolis family law attorney. This holds true in Alabama divorces as well; if your ex fails to pay the mortgage, you may be hurt when applying for future loans.

4. Not reviewing your estate plan after a divorce. Wills and trusts can also be seriously impacted by divorce proceedings. If divorced spouses wait unnecessarily long to change a beneficiary on a will, for example, the money may go to the wrong person—your new spouse may get nothing, while your ex spouse inherits the amount provided for in your will.

5. Not understanding the different tax treatment of alimony vs. child support.  Finally, never forget which amount of money in your divorce settlement is alimony, and which amount is child support. Whereas child support payments are not taxable to the recipient, alimony payments are. Furthermore, there are limits to how long a person can receive such payments—child support payments can no longer be received once the child turns 18 or is done with college, while spousal support generally ends once the recipient remarries.

Credit goes to the California Family Law Blog for first posting about this article.

The court found that the wife was not prevented from reading the agreement, and that as a real estate agent she should have been familiar with the import of reading a legal document.

The Court apparently also found it important that the wife knew the husband was a "millionaire" before they married, and thus was aware of the general extent of his assets at the time she signed the agreement.  Reportedly the wife attempted to seek legal advice, but when she was advised that her attorney was unavailable she declined to seek other counsel.

There are several lessons here: one is not to sign a prenuptial agreement on the day before your wedding.  I can't tell you how many of the people that come to retain me to help them with their prenuptial agreements that wait until the last minute.  That is a terrible idea.  The other lesson is to get legal counsel.  In this case, the wife likely gave up significant legal rights.  And, whether she was a real estate agent or not, she may not have fully appreciated the impact her signature had.

Houston divorce lawyer, Shannon Cavers, recently posted an informative article on this subject here.  Like Shannon, at the initial consultation we ask our clients for a spouse safe e-mail and mailing address.  It is so simple to open a yahoo or hotmail e-mail account for free, that you should consider opening one for this purpose.  In doing so, make sure that you use a password that they will not guess and that is unique to this account.

1. What behavior of clients still surprises you?
That couples who did not get along during their marriage expect a divorce judge to suddenly make them cooperate with each other.

2. What determines how fast a divorce can be obtained?
The psychological point the parties are at. Some are ready to end it, get on with their life. Others use the process as a catharsis to re-live their entire marriage, vent their frustration and assert blame.

3. What is the best advice to give to a non-custodial parent?
Be polite and kind to the custodial parent. They control access to your children. Regardless of your visitation, the custodial parent has tremendous control. You may be rude behind their back but never to their face. It's a game you need to learn to play well or you could lose something greater than your pride.

4. What is the best advice to give a custodial parent?
Let your ex have the children as much as they will take them. You need a break. They are the perfect babysitter. You know they will take care of them and if they are around the children alot, they will be more sensitive to their needs.

5. Does joint custody work?
It can. Some people are naturals at it; others need a little help. A child psychologist can help those who don't realize they have damaging behavior. Putting the child in the middle and parental alienation are classic problems in joint custody.

6. What is the worst fear of most women?
That their spouse will fight them for custody.

7. Do most men fight for custody?
There are two categories of those who do: Men who honestly want custody. Men who want to scare their wives into accepting less child support provided they later relinquish the fight.

8. How can you tell the difference?
From the obvious. Those who never spend any time with their children prior to the divorce being filed; those who travel and are never home; those who have girlfriends. These guys don't want custody.

9. Any way to control those who are insincere?
For the ones who are just using custody as a fear factor, you should call their bluff. Offer them custody and watch them run.

10. Does guilt play a part in the outcome of a divorce?
Yes. Usually the party that seeks the divorce is willing to take less. Men who want the divorce and have children are willing to pay more support and often give up the house to the wife and children.

11. Does mediation work?
If you have an experienced mediator, you can usually resolve some of the issues. The mediator's experience should match the sophistication of the parties.

12. As an attorney, what do you learn from the mediation even if the divorce doesn't settle?
It's a great way to evaluate opposing counsel and their client. Most clients and attorneys reveal the strength of their case at mediation because they are trying to influence the mediator. It's a great way to find out everything that is going to be presented against you at trial. It is also a good way to find out what the opposing counsel knows about your client.

13. As an attorney, can you influence a mediator?
Usually, but you should do this when you are alone with your client and the mediator. You can ask the mediator to present issues a certain way. They will hold any information confidential that you ask them to. You can explore all types of settlement offers to find the give and take.

14. Is it advisable for the attorney to be aggressive at mediation?
I think you should save your best arguments and evidence for the Judge. Their opinions are the only ones that matter. If the opposing side hears damaging evidence prior to the trial, you can bet they will have a good prepared response when they hear it at trial.

15. Does the personality of the parties influence the Judge?
Yes. I like to find out what question I need to ask to make their spouse mad and that is the first one I ask.

16. How do you prepare your client for trial?
I prepare and go over their questions and answers in advance. That way they know at least 50% of what is going to happen.

17. What is the best advice you can give your client in the courtroom?
The judge determines everything. Although the judge doesn't ask the questions, you should look at the judge when you answer. It is his courtroom. Get him involved. Read the situation. If he looks bored or disinterested, make your answers short. Be respectful. Don't argue with the opposing attorney and never, never argue with the judge.

18. What practical considerations should a party consider when testifying?
The judge makes a decision based on a very limited view of the situation. In doing so, perception becomes reality. If one witness is better organized, more articulate, the judge can understand their testimony. For someone to make a decision, they have to be able to understand the facts. Unorganized testimony is difficult to follow. Also. perception gives credibility. Witnesses who are neat and clean and speak in an even tone without anger or bitterness are received as more truthful. Arrogance is a certain loser. Create advantages. If no one believes you, your evidence and testimony loses its importance.

19. Can you tell us if there are any tactics opposing counsel use that in your opinion have been unnecessary?
When they refuse to concede they are wrong and force the issue before the judge. These include filing a petition in the wrong county; asking for the non-custodial parent to pay for college when the law does not provide that they have to; denying their client had an affair when the client has had a child with their girlfriend/boyfriend; asking for support which exceeds the non-custodial parent's income; demanding personal property for their client which was the pre-marital property of the opposing party; asking for half of spouse's retirement when 75% was accumulated prior to the marriage; demanding visitation with their spouse's children by a prior relationship. The list can be endless.

CLOSING THOUGHTS: I am assisting people at a very difficult time in their life when they are called upon to make major decisions when they are not emotionally prepared to make them. I try to give them a sense of control over a situation that appears out of control. I try and give them feedback on how their behavior will be perceived to the Court and suggest directions which reflects more favorably on them. I strive to narrow the issues to the best settlement possible so they can determine if it's a settlement they can live with or whether they would rather take their chances with the decision of the Judge. Often times, a Judge will be more fair than the person you have been married to.

ORIGINAL SOURCE: DivorceNet

Here is a post he recently made where he found a nice Divorce Checklist which contains a  general list of issues that should be considered in resolving a divorce.  The list includes:

1. Custodial arrangements for the children
2. Visitation/parenting time
3. Child support
4. Medical, dental, hospital, pharmaceutical, and psychological expenses for the children
5. COBRA or medical insurance for a former spouse for up to 3 years from the entry of the divorce judgement where applicable
6. Income tax exemptions regarding the children -- who will claim them
7. Alimony/spousal support
8. Property division
9. Division of real estate, transfers, and deeds
10. Making sure that all investments are covered including limited partnerships, stocks, bonds, and savings
11. The handling of debts
12. Pensions, IRA accounts, 401K transfers, Qualified Domestic Relations Orders
13. Personal property including furniture, furnishings, art, and collectibles
14. Motor vehicles, including trailers and boats
15. Income taxes whether there can be joint filings and liabilities for payment of taxes
16. Bankruptcy issues, protection in case one spouse does go bankrupt
17. Proper security and protection regarding property division
18. Clauses to hold the other spouse harmless and indemnification in case someone fails to live up to his or her obligations
19. How to handle the discovery of hidden assets
20. Spouse abuse and restraining orders
21. Restoration of a prior maiden name
22. Life insurance policies as protection for child support payments, alimony/spousal support payments, and/or property payments in the event of death
23. Attorney fees and/or mediator, accountant, and other expert fees and payment of same
24. College education for children and/or spouse
25. Provisions for review in certain circumstances such as with regard to child support and/or spousal support.
26. Clauses such as payment for summer camps and/or religious training and/or upbringing or other special situations involving children