What should I do if I suspect my spouse is cheating?
There are two things that I recommend for the person contemplating divorce under these circumstances. One is obvious, the other may not be.
First, you need to seriously consider getting a private investigator. In Alabama "fault grounds" is relavent in a divorce case and can affect the property settlement and alimony awards. Depending on whether the children are being affected by the conduct, it may also influence the custody determination.
But, do not pull out the yellow pages and pick the cheapest p.i. you can find. You should talk to your divorce lawyer about arranging a p.i. who he knows is competent and can be an effective witness in court if that becomes necessary. (The same advice about not using the yellow pages and hiring the cheapest divorce lawyer you can find also applies!)
The second piece of advice is to immediately get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Obviously you don't know the sexual history of the person with whom your spouse is having an affair. Yes, I know it is an awful thought. But, I can promise you it happens. And, God forbid it happens to you, the sooner you find out about it, the sooner you can be treated. Additionally, if that were to happen, it can dramatically change the posture of your case as there may be additional legal claims that need to be brought. And, if those claims need to be brought your lawyer needs to know about it immediately.